Somehow every year I get wrangled into watching the Oscars. I consider it payback for the dozen-odd times a year that I destroy our kitchen homebrewing. So for all those rogue airlocks I leave in the sink, or soaking carboy’s, or the fact that my girlfriend has never been able to use the dish washer since it has been my bottle rack since we moved in… I watch dresses and
annoying acceptance speeches.
This year, we’re doing the Oscars (or is it Oscar now? whatever) craft beer style style. The growlers in the fridge and deep stock of homebrew are going to come in handy tonight as we dive into the I Drunk That 2011 Oscars Drinking Game.
THROUGHOUT THE NIGHT
Before the winner is announced, declare who you think will win the category. If you are wrong, drink.
Anytime the orchestra has to play someone off the stage, drink
Anytime someone swears, drink
Anytime someone in your viewing party makes a comment about a dress, drink. Anytime they comment on someone’s suit, drink twice. (this is deadly during the preshow)
Anytime the they cut to someone who lost the award, and they are smiling, drink
Anytime Anne Hathaway or James Franco fake-laugh at the other’s sarcastic comment, drink
Any time James Franco mumbles his words, drink
Anytime Black Swan wins an award, mix one shot of dark colored beer with one shot of light colored beer (not light beer… come on now) and drink the mixture. Cider is an acceptable substitute for the light beer.
Anytime Inception wins, Grab a pint glass and pour some of your drink in it. Pass to your neighbor and have them pour some of their drink inside your drink. Continue around the room. The last person must take a swig of the glass and send it back to the person who passed it to them. Continue around the circle until it returns to the original owner who finishes the glass. Confused? good.
Anytime True Grit wins, have a drink of barrel aged beer unless Hailee Steinfeld wins in which case, have a nice glass of water or milk. Shots of whisky are an acceptable subsitute
Anytime Social Network wins, do a shot. You get bonus points for shooting Blackhaus, Jagermeister, or other things that people would only dare put down their through ice cold. Acceptable alternative: shotgun a can of beer
WHEN YOU FINISH YOUR BEER
If a foreign film is accepting an award, grab an imported beer.
If a domestic film is accepting an award, grab an American beer.
If an indie film is accepting an award, grab a homebrew.